I cannot find my penis.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
