I wish my penis had an off switch
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
