My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
