writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
