Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
