you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
