Tell her she can't have a vagina
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
