Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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