question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
