dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
