god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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