When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
