Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
