im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
never play flip cup with pint glasses
she smelled like a LAN party
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
