just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
