i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
