I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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