we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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