something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
