I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
