he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
