Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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