My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
