No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
