Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
