ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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