Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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