Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
