I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
