I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
