I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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