After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Quick, to the slutcave!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
