honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
