called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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