I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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