True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
