I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
