marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Will you blow on my dice?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
