Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
