I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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