You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
