P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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