I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
