Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
