Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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