3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
