woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
