My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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