In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
