you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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